Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Randomize
