i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
