I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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