You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
