Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
