Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
