also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
