Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
