either way he was missing a nipple.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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