didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
