sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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