i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I just got carded by a ten year old.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
