So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
