He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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