Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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