i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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