Moan for me like Helen Keller
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
whose parrot is this?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
