The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
it's like iHOP with fire
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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