Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
