i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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