How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
