Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
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