i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
