His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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