Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
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