Where did you get a picture of my penis
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
