Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
