Plan B is the new Plan A
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
