I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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