I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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