That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
soo... how was my night?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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