Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
