kristin has been a bad kristin
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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