Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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