is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
