Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
