i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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