we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
