why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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