i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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