i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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