Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
