My room smells like vodka and shame
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
