actually, I'm a sock model
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
