I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Randomize
