i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
A bitchslap is in order.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
