So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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