dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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