I will die if light touches me.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
