somebody snuck up and got me drunk
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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