yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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