i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
