just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Naked. naked and bneed help.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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