He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
