Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
