Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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