she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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