I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
