dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
